Neethu doesn't cycle anymore.....

"Plz..dont force me..nange Scooty odsakke baralla.I cant take up the DL test." she said, her voice shivering.

The trainer smiled at her through pan stained teeth.

"Yake nagtha idira??...plz modlu class thagotheeni  2 wheeler du..amele test kodthini" she pleaded

The trainer seemed to be enjoying her plight. “yake madam?? Cycle kalthilva neevu..scooty odsodu thumba easy balance idre..sumne test thagoli”

She turned to her right. Looked straight into his eyes. He growled.

"Please " The trainer kept smiling and started conversing in sign language with the trainer next to him. “Cycle madam… Cycle”

She sighed and closed her eyes.

Flash back

Little Neethu was never the sporty types. Eating, reading and watching TV was all she did during her summer, Diwali and Christmas vacations. The more she lazed around, the paler she got. On the rare occasions that she ventured out, she was affectionately called “bili girale“ by the kids in her locality. Little Neethu didn't care. She was happy being pale as long as she could laze around.

Neethu's mommy was worried. She never wanted a pale milky child. She craved for some hint of brown, some hint of red in Neethu's cheeks. She tried pestering Neethu to go out and play. But Neethu was a stubborn child. She refused to go out and play in the sun. Its too hot to play Ma, she wailed. Worried, her mom called Neethu's Daddy for help.

"Dont worry, Main hoon na" Daddy smiled and took Neethu to playground with a bright pink cycle the next day along with her akka Preethu.

The cycle was the most beautiful thing Neethu had ever laid her eyes on. It had a tiny flower basket with a Barbie doll picture. The handles had shiny festoons, while the tyres had shiny beads. Neethu was thrilled. The summer heat didn't seem to bother her anymore and she pulled her cycle out onto the road. The trainer wheels made riding the cycle easy and within no time she was zipping around the complex. Neethu started spending hours out in the sun whizzing by on her cycle. She turned a beautiful shade of brown, mommy was happy and the complex found a new cycling champion.

All good things come to an end and so did this summer vacation. As Neethu pulled her cycle out for one last spin that day, she eyed the long winding road that she didnt dare take all those days. The uphill road was extremely steep and Little Neethu was scared. But she decided to take her chance that day.

As she pedaled uphill, sweat pouring down her face, she realized why this road was never used by the other kids in the locality. The ride uphill was very tiring and the top seemed to be nowhere in sight. But ride downhill promised to be exhilarating and little Neethu pedaled on. By the time she reached the top she was completely exhausted.

The ride downhill was something she had never experienced. The steepness of the road ensured that she didnt have to pedal at all. The wind swept her hair as she swooshed down the road. She felt like a Bollywood heroine with her hair blowing gracefully behind her and the sun kissing her cheeks.The speed thrilled her and she went into a trance.

Her reverie was broken by cries of "heyyyyy.sama kandkand hog neen yel hotidde antha.". (Watch where you are going!). By the time Neethu convinced her herself that she wasnt Aishwarya Rai, it was too late. She saw a lady carrying a pot of water standing a couple of yards away shouting herself hoarse.

Neethu panicked.

She started shouting back "hoy..jaaga bidi" (Move aside).

The lady was in no mood to budge. Ignoring the obvious danger, she decided this was the perfect time to give Neethu cycling lessons. "brake haakk henne"(put the brake) she screamed back.

Neethu drew a blank.

Brake? Pedal? Handle? Woh kya hota hai??

The lady's horrified expression was the last thing Neethu saw, before the cycle came to a screeching halt.

By lodging itself between the poor lady's legs!!

Neethu's mommy's wish of a red cheek wali daughter was finally fulfilled and it wasn't just embarrassment that caused Neethu's cheeks to turn scarlet that day ;)

 Present: In driving school room

The horns blaring woke her up with a jolt.

The trainer turned towards her and smiled "Yen madam, Cycle odsakke baralla antheera..”

Sigh, if only he knew.

Any wonder then, that Neethu doesn't cycle anymore??

Get noticed......

At the cost of sounding immodest, I have to say that I am one of the few famous personalities at my workplace. Everyone from the security guard to the loo cleaner to the MD knows me by name. They acknowledge my presence sometimes with a subtle nod (my MD), at times with a energetic salute (my security guard) and others with a high-fi (random acquaintances).

My fame was noticed by a poor soul who was virtually unknown. People would walk right past her without acknowledging her presence while at other times, her ideas were not given their due credit. She mustered all the courage she could and approached me so that I could give her some tips on how to become famous. And the kind and caring soul that I am, I agreed, kinda like Will Smith in Hitch.

And there she was from zero to hero in just 3 easy steps! I know, I know, quite a few of you are dying to know how I managed this amazing feat. So as always, in true my ishtyle, I present: 

How to get noticed in simple steps

The Fall of Fame: This is the simplest and yet the most effective way to attract attention to yourself. The best part about this tactic is that once you master it, you can try it out in a variety of different places.

Steps: One, Two, Three, Fall. Get up, dust yourself, Smile. Repeat when needed.

My Claim to Fame: I was in the cafeteria walking towards my table with a glass of mango milkshake in one hand and a plate of cheese-grilled sandwich in the other. As always I decided to ignore the Wet floor sign and walked right across it. Bad move.
I slipped and the plate of cheese grilled sandwich landed on the floor. The mango milkshake, however, had other plans. It decided to slip outta my hand and in a move right out of a Spiderman movie, somersaulted on to my head. Although my hair looked great the next day, I made quite a sorry sight that day.
Note to self: Mango milkshake is a great conditioner.

My Protégé’s execution: We both mutually decided that as the cafeteria fall is my forte’ , she should try the staircase. The staircase chosen for this task was superbly placed at the center of the workfloor. It overlooked both the ground as well as the mezzanine floor. In short Perfect. 

The Protégé confidently walked towards the staircase and as she reached the landing, slipped and fell. The commotion drew all attention to her, with a few helpful guys even coming and helping her stand up.

After effects: Her visibility rose and with it brought in a sprinkling of popularity too– something that hadn’t happened in the 2 years that she has spent in the organization. 


You have got email: This tactic can get you visibility on an organizational level but the effects are short term and can be detrimental at times.
Steps: (i)Open Email, Type Gibberish, Send to the whole organization
Or (ii)Open any email that has been sent to the whole organization, Select reply to all, Type Gibberish, Send


My Claim to Fame: Sometimes, while on work to send out emails, I use the copy into new option **Sob** ,the problem with this option is that if you aren’t careful, you end up replying to all who were copied in the original email.
One of my teammate Mr.K was leaving our organization to pursue his career elsewhere. Me being me, decided to compliment him over email.
So I copied the first mail I could find (which incidentally was an Internal communication of team to decide upon the gift and cost per head,wherein many were showing their ‘nija rupa’ and Mr.G saying “I didn’t work with Mr.K for many days, So I wanna opt out of this gift giving session”, Mr.Ar and Mr. Pr saying “they don’t believe in giving gifts” etc etc), typed out my compliments and sent it out to..yeah you guessed it right…to the whole team..
And that is how almost everyone knows me by my name ***smug smile***

My Protégé’s execution: Anxious as she was to make her mark, she didn’t wait for an Internal communication. She just chose Option 1 to send out an extremely heavy (5 MB) virus laden forward.


After effects: This got her noticed not only by the senior management who issued her a memo (sending out non work related emails is not permitted in my organization) but also by the IT team who had to work on the server, which apparently crashed due to the virus.


Caveat:Virus check the email before you send it out. 


Dressed to kill: This is an extremely difficult tactic and needs a lot of patience and preparation. But the results are longer lasting and well worth the efforts.


Steps: If you have a bad dressing sense, your work is done. For all you know, you are already famous and the whole organization knows you. Look out for words, which are often repeated when you are around e.g champakali or dhinchak. If you have a good sense of dressing, just pick up whatever repels you. For further information watch any Govinda movie. Girls can make Rakhi Sawant their ideal.


My Claim to Fame: I was fortunate enough to get an extremely unflattering haircut which got me instant fame and was named as ‘Fashion Icon ‘ among the team.

My Protégé’s execution: My protégé has straightened her hair which she never conditions. Girls will know what I mean. Guys can refer to the Shock Laga ads.


After effects: This tactic got her instant attention with guys singing Laga laga re..laga laga lag re ..laga laga laga ..laga Shock laga everytime she passes by.
My protégé is quite well known now. Infact there are times when the security guards salute her and ignore me.
The attention seeker in me hates it.
I am now working on how to reduce her visibility in 3 simple steps ***Evil Laugh***

Unaware……………………

People all around were so engrossed conversing in groups their own, where we had none. If we hadn't sat together, i would be occupied in watching the squirrels hurry around and nothing else. At lunch, a few days back, when i'd least expected it, we spoke about it - loneliness. I remember that the very first time i'd spoken to her, i knew she had as many people in her life as i have in mine.


A little human universe we build for ourselves; hand-picking people from around us, we let our lives revolve around them.. Placing them in the center of our being, we try to shapen our lives..a purpose we try to find..a meaning we all look out for..; a name, we give it..new relationships we define..

Sometimes when you start awing at how beautiful a universe you've built, it suddenly turns ugly.. And you notice that its an island you have been building! A misfitting piece you've built, it feels..and you are left mercilessly to ponder over what jigsaw puzzle it was that you were trying to solve..!


There has always been darkness here....cacophony..harsh cryptics..obscure thoughts...eyes-strained-tired of fighting the gloom..and a heart that thumps faster everytime there's a knock at the door..anxiousness arising deep within..seeking solace..looking for a li'l rest from all the grief it has bore..a vent for all the sorrows buried within..a li'l peace..a li'l love..


I woke up in complete darkness today. It was pitch black. And then I realized that I was not in my bed. I could feel my cell phone in my pocket. The light from its screen showed me that I was in a small circular room, with stone walls. There were no windows and no doors. The stone walls had footholds that led up.


I decided to use it to climb my way out. Half way up, I still could see no light. I had this fleeting thought of losing my grip and plummeting to the ground. But I pushed it aside. Just then, mercifully, I noticed that the passage was becoming less steep and it felt like I was crawling instead of climbing now.


I could make out a faint light, at the far end of the tunnel. Hope and faith does bring a new leash of life. Very soon I was much nearer the circular doorway of light. The fresh air and the smell of wet mud felt inviting to my dulled senses.


And everytime a lightning flashes,it all turns magically silver - the rain,the dimly lit b,the rims of the umbrella,the raindrops dripping from its edges and those in my cupped hand - all colored silver..like the centaur blood.

And the very next moment things revert back to the colors reflecting the dimly lit street.

A distant vehicle colors it all again - golden orange.Golden orange colored everything for an instant.Much like relationships,i would say [maybe wrongly]..a quick flash of colors and then mostly ordinariness.


Despite all the sadistic grimness in solitude and endless cravings,there are always things which can bring back a smile....like the rains and the silver colored everything when the lightning flashes..the cupped raindrops and a grand delusion that it would turn into a pearl someday..

The day must have progressed, because the light was really bright. Too bright! My eyes hurt. I tried to look, but couldn’t. Even squinting did not help.

I could hear voices now. Voices, coming from outside. Animated and loud. It sounded strange after having been used to the quiet for so long. I looked at my immediate surroundings. I did not need the cell phone light anymore. The bright light from outside, gave my surroundings a very cozy and warm feel. It wasn’t that bad after all. 

It was peaceful, serene, safe and warm.


There are always a few moments which i will savour a lifetime..
There are always a few things which gets me singing again

And then I knew that I am a lucky girl. I had the option- to climb. And I have the choice- to step out. It is my call. On my time. While the world buzzes by- unaware…

How I miss those Feb 27th's

A hot enne-neeru snana early in the morning.
Crisp and fresh new dress.
Pooja at the home.


Re-counting if amma has put enough chocolates in the neat box for friends at school,plus extra chocolates for those who suddenly decide to wish looking at my 'color-dress'.


'Lacto-kings' or 'caramilks' for friends.
Kismi toffee bars for teachers and 'close' friends.


On entering class after the prayers at the assembly-'Happy b'day to you....
may the 'good' god bless you....dear puneetha..happy b'day to you..' in chorus. ["good" god,huh????]
'Can i take Jyothi with me to distribute chocolates,miss?'.
'Avlige kottyante,nangu erdu kodalva?'.


Friends and neighbourhood kids shaking hands not letting go till they get atleast 3 chocolates each.
Games-the never ending sudden catch,'icepice',mane aata, ragoli,..
The much awaited ‘veg-pulav' and ‘shavige payasa’ prepared by amma.


Temple going in the evening..and amma’s instruction to the poojari.” Magu muka da mele swalpa theertha haaki..olledagli antha”
And then true follower of my amma’s instruction poojari wud splash almost the half liter of theertha on my face..
Colorfully wrapped gifts.['Enide idrolage?'-'Pencil-boxxu'..'Scrabble'..'Kitchen settu'..'Pilot pennu'..'Scented cartoon rubbers']


Aaah,how i miss those Feb 27 ths.

Aaahh..this bday of mine surely deserves to be mentioned.


It was my 5th year birthday the next day..so Akka decided she shd teach me to behave properly, so that I ll not make her be ashamed of my English talent..
(It’s a culture we used to follow religiously in our school days that we go to distribute the chocolates to each class teacher in the school on our birthday and get the wishes and blessings frm them..)
I was thoroughly by hearted the answers I shd give in the questionnaire session by akka’s class teacher. Akka made it sure I shd behave properly and make her feel good of being my elder sister.
Akka had taught me all possible question and answers..and then she started checking on me..
First question supposed to be asked by her teacher: Thank you for the chocolate. What’s ur name?
My answer: my name isshh Neethu..
Akka:gurrr..
Me: haan alla..puneetha H. AL...(my way of pronouncing R)
Akka: shut up..kannadalli mathadbeda..english alli nanu heli kotta hage helu..
Me: Puneetha H AL.
Akka: good!! Which class?
Me: aiynnn.. U.K.G classhhuu…A chectionuu. Hema theethal..classhh theethal..
Akka: gurr!!..
Me: U.K.G
Akka: How old r u puneetha?
Me: 5 yeals old  :)
Akka: good ..appi neethu..
She was convinced I cud somehow answer the questions the next day.


The next morning I entered akka’s class to distribute the chocolate. I was busy showing off my new frill frock to everyone, the first question comes from the teacher,
Teacher: u look good in this dress..
Me: …….
(I just stare at her..didnt get the meaning of that..and search for my akka’s face..)
Teacher was surprised if I am dumb or deaf, for the reason I have not answered her question. So to check on she asked one more question to me..
Teacher: what is your name?
Me: (I felt happy..atlast something which I knw to answer..so with great smile on my face..I giggle and said..).Puneetha H .AL.
(akka was smiling at this..)


Teacher: Which class are u frm?
Me: (struggled a bit..then remembered) hannnnn..U.K.G.
(akka kept smiling..and was telling her frnds abt me .. :)..I was overwhelmed. )
I felt happy seeing akka smiling..and then I realized I forgot to show my new frill frock to her frnds..I thought finally my aim was fulfilled..)
Was busy continuing the show off of my dress to her frnds.the next question comes, which I didn’t bother much as I had already seen akka smiling at me..


Teacher: Whose birthday it is today puneetha? (till date I don’t understand why she had misguided me by asking this question..)
By that time I was overjoyed by the thought of how I managed to answer the questions well, and as Akka, who seems to be happy from my performance ll be surely giving me my share of chocolates which she had bribed the other day saying she wud give me those if I answer well and make her feel proud in front of her group of friends.
(I knew only 3 answers which was taught to me in order some n number of times..the first two questions were asked in the same order..so I did not much bother abt the 3rd one..and said).


Me: 5 yeals old..(with a smile :))
(thanking god..that I have answered all the 3 questions..and made akka feel happy..)


Goshhhhh..the whole class was burst out into laughing..and akka was fuming giving ‘manege ba-nodkothini-ninna’ kinda angry look. :-/

Aaah,how i miss those Feb 27 ths.